i am a confident, successful Reiki Master

tomorrow i have a day-long seminar about launching into business. it's been almost three months (to the day) since i became a Reiki Master/Teacher, and about eight years that i've been practicing as a Reiki healer informally. i keep saying to myself - and everyone else - that i'm confident about the healing end of things, just the business end of things scares the living piss out of me. as the reality of launching a business myself - launching a business that is myself really - i've become increasingly doubtful that i can actually make a living just being who i am.

twice now in the last week people who love me very much have reminded me that being who i am is exactly what will make me successful. trying to pretend to be all professional & straight laced like other healers i admire is not going to help people feel comfortable & trusting around me - at least not the people who really need me. after all, being exactly who i am over the last near decade has brought me plenty of beings who need healing, many people who have asked me to teach. exactly as i already am. tonight my Muse spoke of having a niche community, such as a massage therapist he knows who is part of the BDSM community & therefore draws many of her clients from within that community. by just being openly kinky she makes it possible for someone who might otherwise hide his or her bruises, lash marks, wax burns & piercings from a massage therapist. worst case scenario, those people might not get the healing they deserve if there are no healers they feel they can trust.

i've certainly had this experience myself many times. i had a therapist who knew nothing about the issues adoptees carry with them cry because she was unable to have children & my apparently thanklessness about being adopted by this nice family shook all her beliefs about who is deserving of children. or maybe i just triggered her grief. either way i was a child, and figured out quickly that noone at Children's Mental Health was going to be able to do much for me. i've dealt with endless counsellors, physicians, therapists, social workers, whatever, who don't have a clue what to do with someone who's polyamorous, queer, promiscuous, and frequently gets a craving to be beaten across the back with some kind of leather implement. i'm sick of explaining that i'm not afraid of commitment or monogamy, i just prefer something else. i'm sick of having someone sit wide-eyed while i talk about issues my partner and i are having negotiating household chores when another lover is spending the night. the last thing a person needs when baring their soul and looking for support is the sense that they are being judged and utterly misunderstood.

so thinking about that whole closet full of t-shirts i got from being there & doing that, i decided to create a list of who might fall into my niche:

• fellow suicide survivors & loved ones of those who had survived or died of suicide
• individuals & families dealing with adoption/fertility/family creation issues
• sexual assault & abuse survivors (especially men, as i've had a number of close male friends & lovers i've supported in the recovery process)
• mental health system consumers/survivors
• folks battling or recovering from substance abuse & eating disorders
• folks battling or recovering from other self-medicating behaviours such as cutting, hair pulling, excessive exercise
• polyamorous peeps; families who have multiple co-parents
• dykes, queers, trannies, lesbians, fags, pansexuals, homos, genderqueers, two-spirit, intersex folks, and even straight people :P
• kinky folks, those in the lifestyle, the BDSM community
• sex workers
• pagans, heathens & mystics
• folks dealing with pain-management issues due to injury, rheumatoid disease, arthritis, etc

there's perhaps more... i feel like i've probably missed some. no matter for now. i just needed to remind myself that when my higher self, my ancestors, guides & the deities got together to decide what path i'd follow this lifetime, they intended for me to be exactly the person i am, in order to do exactly the job i've been given. the rest will follow.